This film is weak.  So weak.  The plot is outrageously unbelievable.  Since when do Australian cops patrol the internet looking for what may or may not be illegal activity in Toledo, Ohio?  The whole thing was absolutely retarded.  After the man fed the other man his own penis in the opening 5 minutes, I really thought we were going somewhere.  I wish I was being sarcastic.  It takes guts to show a man dining on his own reproductive organ with another man in a homosexual context.  It takes nothing to show the afterthought that is this movie.  Hey, how did the police show up right in time anyhow?  The other guy must have been a snitch.  I’ve said it once and I will say it again: If you are even thinking about auto cannibalizing on your own semen cannon, get a half decent trustworthy guy to spoon feed it to you.  This movie is pathetic.  The hardy cop from down under, who drinks vodka like it is water, oh that’s just the acting, to get over the fact that his dad made him eat brussel sprouts, his mother was a little too open about having sex in the kitchen in front of him, and his girl friend is a nymphomaniac whom he likes to rape like an inmate, gets his ass whooped by a guy picked in an Owen Wilson look-alike casting contest, who fed his bed ridden obese mother whom he later kills and cuts off all her fat at the tender age of nine before hosting a pornographic site where he tries to get woman to, that milestone we are all shooting for in the back of our minds or maybe it is just me, eat themselves to one thousand pounds.  All of this is laid out right before our Aussie shoots the giant one, he flew half way around the world to save, right between the eyes.  Then he moves to Toledo where he keeps Owen Wilson as a prisoner and marries his nemesis’s sister.  Other notes: What happened to the Asian wife in the SUV? You have the guy’s whole history.  We know this because you discussed it with your partner on a long distance call because you are a tad out of your jurisdiction.  You even managed to break into the house he rents under an alias on the first day of your arrival and you don’t know his mother had a farm house in town?  What the hell was up with the random fat syringe injection in the apartment?

If anyone is still reading this and you feel like we don’t talk enough.  Rent this movie and we can talk for years about it.  Buy this movie, and I will never speak to you again.  One of the worst I have ever seen.

“Say it!  Say it like you mean it! … feed me!”

1/10