Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the third movie in the Underworld series.  It serves as a prequel to the first two of the series.  It tells how the vampire werewolf war began.

Another mindless action movie with nothing to offer.  This movie was stupid the whole way through and was often very boring.  The movie had tons of horrible dialogue and was riddled with ridiculous plot holes.  It was pretty much unwatchable.  The action sequences are stale and the plot is clichéd.  You would have to be a very hardcore follower of the Underworld series to get anything out of this.  This trash is just fanboy fodder.

“We can be Lycans!”  I think I’ll pass but thanks.

2/10

Marvel Comic movie directed by Kenneth Branagh about the Norse god of thunder, Thor, being banished from Asgard to earth and having to adjust to a human sort of life.

What a terrible movie.  I can’t believe Thor was this bad.  The entire dialogue was comprised of nonsense and one-liners.  Portman’s performance, at its best, was awkward and full of cringes.  I have seen better stories watching Saturday morning cartoons.  This guy that fights his way through a government camp is just a drunk undocumented scientist.  We can let him out with a warning.  So stupid.  This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen.  The special effects were the only well done piece of the film.  If you think this movie was cool because of the awesome rainbow road then there is just no saving you.  Absolute rubbish.

“Is there a renaissance fair in town?”

1/10

Santee (1973)

Jody Deakes (Michael Burns) joins his outlaw father after his mothers death. Jody’s father is running from Santee (Glen Ford) a bounty hunter. Santee kills Jody’s father and Jody follows him hoping to take revenge. Santee takes him to his ranch and the two of them form a bond.  Jay Silverheels (Tonto) plays John Crow a ranch hand.

Glen Ford was made for this role, unfortunately the script doesn’t hold up. It’s got all the parts, but the film falls flat.

“They’ll get a preacher, and a prayer, and a pine box”

Feel like a Glen Ford western, watch the Rounders or 3:10 to Yuma—-4/10

Dear America: Letters Home from Vietnam

The movie uses real letters written by US soldiers for it’s narration.  The film is archive footage, together they convey the personal experiences of the men and women that served in Vietnam.

This movie grabbed me and didn’t let me go, at the end there were tears filling my eyes.

“I would rather to have had you for twenty-one years and all the pain that goes with losing you, than never to have had you at all. -Mom “

This is one of those movies that I think everybody should see–08/10

Foolproof (2003)

Kevin (Ryan Reynolds), Sam (Kristin Booth) and Rob (Joris Jarsky) for fun do theoretical heists. One of their plans is taken and used by a gangster. After the real heist, the gangster blackmails them into pulling off a real heist.

Not top notch action adventure, but passable.  The three stars kept making me think of “Two Guy’s and a Girl”, they have many of the same interactions between each other.

Access Denied! Access Denied!

Tight B movie, but nothing to make it really stand out–03

The Matrix Revolutions is the conclusion of the Matrix trilogy.  Neo must finally achieve savior status and destroy Agent Smith and the machines once and for all.

This was not good.  It is definitely the weakest of the three Matrix films and after what was a refreshingly good start with the first we have been left in the dumpster by the third.  This was basically unwatchable.  I don’t even know where to begin.  I really did not have a good time with this one.  A Kung Fu rain battle with a hero sacrifice ending.  C’mon that’s the best they could do?  Waste of time.

“I wish I hadn’t.  That was my last thought.” – Couldn’t have said it better myself.

2/10

In Bruges stars Collin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson.  It is about  two hitmen who botch a job and then have to wait for their fate in Bruges.

This was a very well-done and witty movie.  It was a little too over the top, but was still very enjoyable.  I wasn’t crazy about Ralph Fiennes as the boss man.  I felt his character, in general, weakened the picture.  The ending was decent and the murder of the boy in the church gave the rest of the film a very interesting perspective.  The movie had originality as when Ken goes to kill Ray but ends up preventing his suicide.  Overall, I liked it quite well.

“You’re an inanimate object!”

8/10

Enemy of the State stars Gene Hackman and Will Smith.  It is a classic government coverup story where those who know too much are hunted down and silenced.

I didn’t exactly have high expectations when I decided to watch this and man was I let down.  This was really bad.  The complete nonsensical story feels like it was written by a twelve year old.  The government kills a congressman like they do all the time you know, and then Average Joe gets the evidence,  and then someone who knows everything ever will find Average Joe and then the government will kill another person to frame him and then the mob will have a shoot out with the bad guys until the real good guys come and then it is all back to normal and cool.  Every time I thought we had hit rock bottom there was another bizarre story element that assured me we were going lower.  I couldn’t believe how bad this was.

“You do and you don’t know it.” Way to go paranoia.

2/10

This is the fifth Harry Potter film released.  The magic community thinks Harry and Dumbledore are nuts when they say Voledmort is back, but he is.

The goblet of fire had a dark side as a child dies in a quest to win an awesomely amazing prize and the darkness continues in the order of the phoenix as our good pal Voldemort is having a coming out party.  You would think that the Ministry of Magic would not be so obtusely bigoted and be more like oppressed mutants or something.  They really take the name in vain thing to a whole new level.  The power of love seems to really work on Voldemort so I am not exactly sure what everyone is so worried about.  These movies are so damn silly and ridden with unoriginality coupled with plot holes.  It is just ridiculous.  Can’t wait for the next one.

“You’re the weak one and you’ll never know love or friendship and I feel sorry for you.” Being the Lord of Darkness isn’t so cool anymore huh Voldy.

3/10

The Matrix: Reloaded is the sequel to the hit movie The Matrix.  The same cast is back as Neo has become a master of the matrix and is empowering Zion in their revolution over the machines.

This is yet another horrible sequel.  It was all action all the time.  The great philosophical and intriguing aspects of the original were shoved aside for some kick ass slow motion CG junk.  When the attempts were made to expand the plot, it was laughable and confounding.  In general sequels just can’t bring the impact that their predecessors had because all of the originality and creative juice has been exhausted.  Unfortunately for us and the series itself, this was no exception.  The movie was one big car wreck from top to bottom.

“It’s like wiping your ass with silk.”  A decent line from such rubbish.

3/10