Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the third movie in the Underworld series.  It serves as a prequel to the first two of the series.  It tells how the vampire werewolf war began.

Another mindless action movie with nothing to offer.  This movie was stupid the whole way through and was often very boring.  The movie had tons of horrible dialogue and was riddled with ridiculous plot holes.  It was pretty much unwatchable.  The action sequences are stale and the plot is clichéd.  You would have to be a very hardcore follower of the Underworld series to get anything out of this.  This trash is just fanboy fodder.

“We can be Lycans!”  I think I’ll pass but thanks.

2/10

Dinner for Schmucks is a comedy starring Paul Rudd and Steve Carell.  It is about a man climbing the corporate ladder and his chance encounter with a man who dresses and arranges stuffed dead mice portraying famous scenes.

This movie was cliché-filled waste of time.  A schmuck is the left over skin after a circumcision, and that is exactly what this movie is.  It is the left over skin cut from a much funnier penis of a film.  I may have laughed once the entire film.  It was so boring and overdone.  I did not enjoy Carell as the torturer nor did I enjoy Rudd as the victim.  Old jokes that weren’t funny the first time usually aren’t going to be funny the next go around.  Tired.

“You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not.”

3/10

Marvel Comic movie directed by Kenneth Branagh about the Norse god of thunder, Thor, being banished from Asgard to earth and having to adjust to a human sort of life.

What a terrible movie.  I can’t believe Thor was this bad.  The entire dialogue was comprised of nonsense and one-liners.  Portman’s performance, at its best, was awkward and full of cringes.  I have seen better stories watching Saturday morning cartoons.  This guy that fights his way through a government camp is just a drunk undocumented scientist.  We can let him out with a warning.  So stupid.  This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen.  The special effects were the only well done piece of the film.  If you think this movie was cool because of the awesome rainbow road then there is just no saving you.  Absolute rubbish.

“Is there a renaissance fair in town?”

1/10

Bridget Jones’s Diary is an English romantic comedy starring Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, and Hugh Grant.  Bridget’s life is an unhappy mess and she is resolved to turn things around fo herself.  Unfortunately, for every step she takes forward, circumstances knock her back one or two.

This was an entertaining movie.  I have no idea how Renee Zellweger was cast in this role, but she pulls it off.  I can’t stand her serious stuff, but she does pretty well in comedies.  As far as romantic comedies goes, this is not bad.  I really dread watching things from this genre because it is so full of trash and this one certainly had annoying and cheesy pieces, but it also had some witty and clever comedy.  It wasn’t much, and it doesn‘t stray far from the formulas, but it was much more than I expected it to be.

“It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.”

5/10

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a Woody Allen movie about relationships.  Vicky and Cristina are visiting Barcelona for the summer where their opposite views on love and dating come to the forefront.

This movie really did not do anything for me.  The American characters are ridiculously flat and uninteresting.  The Spanish duo at least has passion, but is also flat.  The dialogue was unentertaining and bored.  I agreed with the viewpoint of love projected through Juan Antonio but that was all I had out of this one.  The characters were all so stereotypical and it was very aggravating.  Their were some interesting points of dialogue, but the film was too cliché-ridden.  Riding classic bikes in Europe, what a novel idea!  Type A’s are stiff as a board and uncomfortable with their own sexuality.  Type B’s are well, sluts.  Luckily, there were tiny bits of good acting and writing to save this thing from completely bottoming out.

“She put a knife into me.”

4/10

The second film adaptation of the 1968 novel of the same name written by Charles Portis.  A 14 year old girl hires a mean and drunk bounty hunter to track down her father’s murderer.

I really feel pretty much the same about this film and the 1969 version.  Neither are anything special.  Hailee Steinfeld’s performance was quite incredible given that she is just fourteen.  To be honest though, and this is not the opinion of the majority, but I liked Kim Darby’s version of the character better.  This film is much darker in tone and lighting than its predecessor and I liked it just a shade more.  I also thought it was a little more realistic and gritty, both of which I am a big fan of.  The Ned Pepper scenes seem to parallel the original so much they were almost identical.  This could be the result of the original novel, but none of the other scenes were so closely mimicked.  I did not care for the ending at all as it completely removed me from the movie and what the heck was it trying to say?  True Grit has a solid storyline and this is a slight improvement from 1969, but it still isn’t very interesting.

“One would be just as unpleasant as the other.”

6/10

Average Rating: 7/10 (2 ratings)

The Other Woman stars Natalie Portman as a young wife mourning the loss of her infant daughter while trying to maintain her family and develop a healthy relationship with her stepson.

A decent film.  It did just well enough in acting and writing.  The final series of happenings dampened the film I thought.  The movie is a series of highs and lows with the final low being the lowest point of the film and I believe a natural end point.  Unfortunately, we are dragged through a sappy Hollywood ending that is obvious in meaning and lame in delivery.  I thought Natalie Portman was terrific and Scott Cohen was not bad at all.  Lisa Kudrow’s performance was her usual bit that I do not enjoy.  My displeasure was then compounded by her character having no depth or basis in reality.  The movie was probably weak overall as many critics have found a distaste for it, but I found the dialogue sans Kudrow to be authentic, the acting sans Kudrow to be well done, and this made it doable for me.

“Why is she dead?”
“I don’t know.”

5/10

Santee (1973)

Jody Deakes (Michael Burns) joins his outlaw father after his mothers death. Jody’s father is running from Santee (Glen Ford) a bounty hunter. Santee kills Jody’s father and Jody follows him hoping to take revenge. Santee takes him to his ranch and the two of them form a bond.  Jay Silverheels (Tonto) plays John Crow a ranch hand.

Glen Ford was made for this role, unfortunately the script doesn’t hold up. It’s got all the parts, but the film falls flat.

“They’ll get a preacher, and a prayer, and a pine box”

Feel like a Glen Ford western, watch the Rounders or 3:10 to Yuma—-4/10

Dear America: Letters Home from Vietnam

The movie uses real letters written by US soldiers for it’s narration.  The film is archive footage, together they convey the personal experiences of the men and women that served in Vietnam.

This movie grabbed me and didn’t let me go, at the end there were tears filling my eyes.

“I would rather to have had you for twenty-one years and all the pain that goes with losing you, than never to have had you at all. -Mom “

This is one of those movies that I think everybody should see–08/10

San Quentin (1937)

Captain Stephen’ Jameson (Pat O’Brien) regular army is sent to  San Quentin to become the top prison guard. He so good at handling men the warden feels he can turn the prison around. He falls for May (Ann Sheridan) a singer in a night club. Her brother, Red (Humphrey Bogart) is no good and gets sent to San Quentin.  The three of them form a triangle filled with strife, mostly started by bad boy Red.

Formulaic prison movie, with Bogart (not one of best) moving the plot.

“It’s dynamite”

Life in the big house——03/10