Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the third movie in the Underworld series. It serves as a prequel to the first two of the series. It tells how the vampire werewolf war began.
Another mindless action movie with nothing to offer. This movie was stupid the whole way through and was often very boring. The movie had tons of horrible dialogue and was riddled with ridiculous plot holes. It was pretty much unwatchable. The action sequences are stale and the plot is clichéd. You would have to be a very hardcore follower of the Underworld series to get anything out of this. This trash is just fanboy fodder.
“We can be Lycans!” I think I’ll pass but thanks.
2/10
Dinner for Schmucks (2010)
Dinner for Schmucks is a comedy starring Paul Rudd and Steve Carell. It is about a man climbing the corporate ladder and his chance encounter with a man who dresses and arranges stuffed dead mice portraying famous scenes.
This movie was cliché-filled waste of time. A schmuck is the left over skin after a circumcision, and that is exactly what this movie is. It is the left over skin cut from a much funnier penis of a film. I may have laughed once the entire film. It was so boring and overdone. I did not enjoy Carell as the torturer nor did I enjoy Rudd as the victim. Old jokes that weren’t funny the first time usually aren’t going to be funny the next go around. Tired.
“You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not.”
3/10
Thor (2011)
Marvel Comic movie directed by Kenneth Branagh about the Norse god of thunder, Thor, being banished from Asgard to earth and having to adjust to a human sort of life.
What a terrible movie. I can’t believe Thor was this bad. The entire dialogue was comprised of nonsense and one-liners. Portman’s performance, at its best, was awkward and full of cringes. I have seen better stories watching Saturday morning cartoons. This guy that fights his way through a government camp is just a drunk undocumented scientist. We can let him out with a warning. So stupid. This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The special effects were the only well done piece of the film. If you think this movie was cool because of the awesome rainbow road then there is just no saving you. Absolute rubbish.
“Is there a renaissance fair in town?”
1/10
Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)
Bridget Jones’s Diary is an English romantic comedy starring Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, and Hugh Grant. Bridget’s life is an unhappy mess and she is resolved to turn things around fo herself. Unfortunately, for every step she takes forward, circumstances knock her back one or two.
This was an entertaining movie. I have no idea how Renee Zellweger was cast in this role, but she pulls it off. I can’t stand her serious stuff, but she does pretty well in comedies. As far as romantic comedies goes, this is not bad. I really dread watching things from this genre because it is so full of trash and this one certainly had annoying and cheesy pieces, but it also had some witty and clever comedy. It wasn’t much, and it doesn‘t stray far from the formulas, but it was much more than I expected it to be.
“It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.”
5/10